How I Learned Self Love After Pregnancy

Self love after pregnancy . . . 

It’s been nearly a year since we took these photos. I was 7 months postpartum, and I was finally starting to feel more like myself again. My first pregnancy + transition into motherhood was an emotional rollercoaster–I’m sure some of you can relate. I don’t have all the answers, but I do know what losing yourself feels like. Truth be told, I still feel a little lost in the fog of parenthood (especially now that I’m well into my 3rd trimester with Baby #2). It’s part of the reason why it’s taken me so long to share this post.

But, from what I’ve discovered, self love is an ongoing process. I’m constantly making mental and physical adjustments as my body ebbs and flows through the different stages of life. Be it during pregnancy or the many sleepless days after, there will be ups and downs. Here are three things I’ve learned about self love over the last year and a half.

Adjust Expectations

‘I’m not the same, and my body isn’t either.’ I’ve had to adjust my expectations because my life really is different. Once I admitted it to myself, everything felt a little bit easier. My success came from caring for Mary Jane. So long as she was happy, well fed, loved and cared for, I knew I was being the best Aubry I could be. It was and still is physically impossible to accomplish as many things as I used to. It doesn’t matter that I forget to fold the laundry or that my emails pile up. I’ll eventually get to these things, and it’ll all be ok.

Psst! If you’re self-employed, I do recommend automating an out-of-office email reply if you have a baby on the way. This gives you some professional leeway as you settle into your new routine.

Do Something Active Every Day

As I became more confident with parenting, I started carving out specific me-time at the gym. This meant that I always got an hour for myself after Mary Jane went to bed. The physical activity produced endorphins, and my body slowly started to look more familiar. Real talk: it took a long time for me to view my appearance in a positive light. I still feel guilty about it. I hope that after this second pregnancy, I can learn from past experience and be more kind to myself in the early postpartum days. Because growing a human is hard work and caring for once is even harder. The little victories (like tackling a 15 minute workout purely for sanity’s sake) are definitely worth celebrating.

Accept/Ask for Help

I’ve never been one to ask for help. I’d like to think that my desire for independence has served me well over the years. It’s certainly encouraged me to learn through trial and error. But, now that I have a very active toddler plus a second baby on the way, I’m learning to acknowledge my limitations. For example, my trials and errors have an impact on more people than just myself. As hard as it may be to admit, I need the extra help sometimes. I am NOT Wonder Woman, and there’s absolutely no shame in asking for or accepting help. By letting others show me love (through their service), I’m essentially showing myself love. It’s always turns out better in the end.

Have your own self love tips? I am grateful for this community–thank you for always being so supportive!

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post photos by Gentri Lee