Two Under Two: Motherhood + Things I’ve Learned (Part 2)

Two under two . . . 

It’s been a few months since Mary Jane turned two, and our baby Violet is officially six months old. I can’t believe how quickly time has passed. Truth be told, it feels like it’s been just one never-ending day where I happen to get a few long-ish naps aka night time sleeps. Having two little ones under two years old really does keep you on your toes, and I’ve learned a lot in such a sort amount of time. Sometimes, I still can’t believe this is MY life + these sweet babies are mine.

My friends Kayla and Christie shared some of the same sentiments in this post about motherhood. When my days get hard, I reread their helpful and optimistic words. They’ve been a source of encouragement more times than I can count. Even the simplest of tips have helped subside those inevitable feelings of mom guilt and overwhelm. You can read their advice about having two under two by clicking here.

As for me, this is what I’ve learned:

Less is more, especially with two kids.

This has been the biggest learning curve. I’ve had to force myself to plan less, do less and expect less. Even the simplest of tasks take double and sometimes triple the time/energy to accomplish. This isn’t bad, it’s just different! I’ve found that it’s easiest to stick with the basics: coloring (ultra washable crayons, FTW), trips to the local museum or a neighborhood walk when the weather is nice. Mary Jane also likes learning games and sensory activities like alphabet flash cards or Play-Doh (this set is awesome). Luckily, baby Violet is content laying in her dock-a-tot on a blanket beside her sister. At six months old, she’s happiest when she’s part of the party no matter what we’re doing.

Postpartum Depression is real.

And symptoms can look, feel and be very different from person to person and from one pregnancy to the next. This time around was especially difficult for me. During the first few months, I had far more bad days than good. I cried a lot, multiple times a day for days on end. I had severe social anxiety, body image issues and extreme fatigue. Honestly, I still have days where I’m stuck in the fog. BUT, I have more days where I see life in a positive light. Retrospectively, I hope I’m able to acknowledge the mental and emotional growth that’s come from carrying, birthing and raising these babies. Our bodies are so resilient. Mamas, this may be the hardest thing we’ve ever done, but I know we can do it.

Physical health is just as important.

After I got home from the hospital with baby Violet, I had no idea how taxing it’d be to jump right back into the day-to-day of being a caregiver. When you have two under two, it’s difficult to find time to rest and let your body recover. Mary Jane needed me, baby Violet needed me and Jake needed me. I found it hard to juggle my own health with the deep responsibility I felt to be there for my people. I quickly learned that I wasn’t helpful to anyone else if I wasn’t taking care of myself. I had to recover so I could be the best mom + wife I could be.

This also meant I needed to designate time to exercise, eat healthy, etc. Thankfully, past experience taught me that a good run at the gym does wonders for my body, both physically and mentally. (I even wrote about it after my first pregnancy with Mary Jane.) Now that I’m back to my fighting weight, I have enough energy to keep up with my active toddler, care for my infant and do a load of laundry or two. It’s made a world of difference.

Nap time is for you, too.

The single greatest thing I’ve accomplished as a mother of two is getting the girls on a nap schedule that coincides. This means I also get some sleep when Mary Jane + Violet go down for their afternoon ZZZs. Whatever it takes, figure it out. It’s so worth it.

Here’s how we make it work:

Mary Jane – Toddler
Violet – Baby

11:30 Get Mary Jane lunch
11:40 Feed Violet while Mary Jane eats
12:00 Put Violet in her crib to play while I put Mary Jane down
12:00-12:10 Clean up Mary Jane, sing songs + rock in rocking chair
12:15 Mary Jane starts her nap
12:15 Get Violet ready for her nap (change diaper, etc.)
12:18 Rock Violet + put her down
Both girls nap for 1.5-2 hours.

Once Violet goes down, I quickly clean myself up, get dressed and clean the kitchen from lunch. Then, I catch up on my own sleep.

Trying is key.

I’ve talked about this before, but it’s so important to just keep trying. Mothering one baby has it’s challenges, and mothering two under two can be even trickier. Hang in there. There will be days where you get multiple things right, and there will be days where everything seems to go wrong. That’s life. When we look back on these days, we won’t remember the messes we didn’t clean or the times we forgot to buy milk. We’ll only regret the days we didn’t try. 

Do you have little ones? What lessons have you learned?

photos by Gentri Lee